I am 'thinspired'

I've got to admit, i've never really liked my body shape.. even though i've been called thin by my friends and family, I still think it's not enough.

From my perspective, my arms are too flabby, and so is my tummy area. The only part of my body that i'm proud of are my thighs, which are pretty slim. (With thigh gap to boot.)

But it's just not enough.

In fact, I once got so insecure about my body, I cried.

I go to a fashion school, where I learn how to make dress patterns and sew, and last year, I was asked to model for my seniors, as they have just completed their final exams and wanted to show off their creations.

I got really excited, but then to my dismay, all of the clothes did not fit, except for one, which was a bustier type that you can lace up from the back, and a stretchy tulle skirt. While another girl, who was nearly my age, was able to fit in everything she was handed. I felt so fat and disgusting, like a defected product as compared to her, and all I wanted to do was to run away and hide. Once I got in my car, I curled up in the backseat and just started sobbing to myself.

That was me after the show.. don't my arms look fat?

The above event was what lead me to start dieting, and fortunately, my weight has gone down 4 kilos :)

My weight back then was always 54 kg, but today, it sits on the 50-51 kg scale~

I took a break from dieting afterwards, since I felt confident with my weight.

This year 2012, I joined Tumblr, and I discovered Thinspiration.

Thanks to Tumblr's infinite scroll feature, I got to see a LOT of thinspo pictures..

I felt fat, and angry with myself again, but I was also filled up with determination, the determination to finally be as fit as the girls I saw on Tumblr.

Some of them have probably achieved their figure through an eating disorder, but I didn't want to go down that lane. Instead, I intend to lose my extra fat by cutting on calories, sugars, and also through exercising more. I want to LIVE skinny, not DIE skinny!

I started my diet last month, and yes, there are results.. my arms are smaller now, and i've lost some fats here and there, I've also developed some muscle ;)

but i'm nowhere close to ThinSpo figure, YET.

People think thinspiration is bad, because it causes young girls to succumb to eating disorders.

Well, I don't find myself puking out food I had minutes earlier, nor am I skipping meals. I want to lose weight properly and healthily, and not slowly kill myself, but I guess some girls just don't process the right messages..so no, I certainly do not support eating disorders.

If you want to lose weight, then go exercise for an hour every day, drink green tea, and cut down on sugars and stuff. Not eating would only cause the weight to come back after you start eating again, and no, you can't starve yourself forever.

Because by then you'd be dead.

And now i'm off to burn 500 calories at the gym, bye~ :)

Ew.

What the.. flab??


Blogger looks so darn awkward and complicated now.
Hate it when websites decide to change their look, and the new look ends up looking uglier as compared to the previous one. -_-


However, no intention to leave as of yet.

The contacts are in!

My bubble lenses have finally arrived :)
My friend helped me soak them in solution first before handing it over, so I got to wear them immediately upon receiving them.
 



Here are some close-up shots of the lens!

The green is a melony to minty sort of green, love it! :)

And here are a  couple of pictures for comparison.

sickly pale skin is sickly

Aiiiiight.... now, MINI REVIEW!

Comfort:  9.5/10

I've been through quite a few brands of circle lenses.. and it always feels like there's something lodged in between my lower lid and mah eyeball. (Guessing they were too thick?)

Bubble lens was just perfect, the lenses were thin, and it almost feels as if you're wearing no lenses at all!

Enlargement: 6/10

There's a slight difference, but these lenses won't get you big dolly eyes like a BJD, since they are only 14.8 mm in length.

Colour: 9/10

The colour is extremely obvious, even from a distance. The only downside is that the colour doesn't 'blend in' with my original eye colour, so it looks a bit odd, but it's nothing too bad. I love the fact how these lenses have no outer lining, giving a natural effect.

Overall: 8/10

I recommend these to those of you who want a pair of lenses that has a very obvious color,  these lenses aren't meant for looking all sweet and cutesy. 

 BTW, this blog is not meant to be some beauty blog..

the real reason why I wanted to make a review is because I had such a hard time finding pictures of green bubble lenses, and I thought it'd be nice of me to upload pictures of my lenses so that others can see what it's like. And I thought adding a little bit of info about the lenses would help, too:)

Ordered my lenses today~

Feel so lucky to be best friends with a girl whose sister happens to sell circle lenses. :)
So much more convenient, since I can just head over to her home to pick up the lenses and not have to worry about shipping costs.


I remember how I used to order a lot.. I had about 10 pairs of those circle lenses lying around and I had such a hard time cleaning them.


Well this time i'm only going to order one pair. And they happen to be Bubble lens and in green.


These lenses have no outer lining, and the colour is extremely vibrant. (Not like those lenses with weak colours, that once you put on, you can't see a darn thing and you have to use flash when taking pictures of yourself, just to make the colour visible :/ )


And since it's green, i'm probably going to look like some alien. Which, to me, is major win \m/


Well I can't wait 'til they arrive ;3
And i'll post lots of pictures and perhaps do a little review about them.

ANTHRAX !!

Currently listening to: "Dunkelheit" by Burzum

I should say.. it was one of the best days of my life!

Went to the show with my best friend and my Iron Maiden-addicted brother. :)

And so far, one of the best concerts I have ever gone to, I was more than satisfied with their performance!

I also got the chance to touch Joey Belladonna's hand! *extremely irritating fangirl squeal*

I stood at the most front and right next to my best friend, what more could I ask from the whole experience?   
And also next to this chick who kept elbow-ing me, my bestie and my brother.


I get it, you love Frank Bello, but a teensy bit of consideration is always appreciated. Aight? -_-

We're not the type of people who would snap at strangers, so we just pushed her arm away every time it got in our faces. I shot a few stares at her, but she doesn't seem to get the message. pfft.
Then there's this guy next to me. Totally ruined my peace, he gave out some funny remarks now and then but he was obnoxiously loud most of the time.  At least he was quiet throughout the rest of the show.


Lesson learnt: There will always be that one person out there, no matter where, be it in school, the workplace or etc., that will never fail in pissing off everyone. ALWAYS.


Here are some pictures, they're not that clear since I took them with my BlackBerry (big mistake.), but meh.. better than nothing.

THE TICKETS. I know, they're only paper, but I still got excited anyway when I got my hands on them.

How the stage looked immediately before they got on. The gnawing feeling in my stomach became very strong by then.
I'M GONNA SEE ANTHRAX IN REAL LIFE FOR THE FIRST TIME AAAARGH MY GAWSH

I have paper white skin in this photo, and for some reason I like how my nose looks (u///u)


I was wearing a Death t-shirt and Caren was wearing an Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt (she's addicted to them, they're not reaaally metal, but she had nothing else.) She wanted to pull back her hair and tie it into a ponytail because she thought it would be absurdly hot outside. BUT THANKFULLY IT WASN'T~

...who else, if not the dudes from Anthrax themselves?


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(How my face looked like when I saw them live for the first time.)

Do hope they come back again soon! :)))

My purpose for setting up this blog

 I always feel the need to preserve my thoughts. Thoughts I find interesting.

I don't want to set up a diary.. because typing is quicker than writing.  <--my excuse for laziness

I guess you can call this a personal blog.

 So.. this blog will probably be useless to all of you. Since it's just me rambling on random thoughts and stuff I find interesting. (And a bunch of pics too.)

But wouldn't that mean that all personal blogs are useless?

Unless, of course, it's interesting..but I can't find any entertaining qualities in this blog of mine. 

But whatever, it didn't come to existence to entertain people. So I don't have to worry about being 'boring'.

STAY OUTTA MY SHED.

An adorable My little pony parody :]